← Back to lettersDear Mr. Farriols Calvo Rafael:
Allow me to place my hand on your chest. My name is OOLEEOO 2, son of EE WAANII 1. I have not had the honor of addressing you before, as I was until 2,4561 years ago (Translator's Note: this duration corresponds precisely to 12 XEE (11,597)!) (measured in your time) on UMMO, the planet from which I originate. I was recently sent to your beautiful country with the mission to restore a voluntarily interrupted contact (Translator's Note: aborted) under the imperative orders of my brothers to whom I am willingly submissive. I possess all the DEEGOO containing a precise description of the entire history of our incorporation (98.456% passive) into your beautiful OYAGAA. I also have a meticulous psychosomatic definition of yourselves and all your brothers who have had more or less close contact with our culture. My expeditionary brothers who have been in contact with you ask me to convey an emotional greeting. You cannot imagine, not even remotely and approximately, the sadness that seizes us when we must abandon missions involving affections and feelings. This is due to the particular structure of our brain in which an evolutionary surplus of the striated body and the thalamus far superior to yours has considerably developed the GOOYOODOO in our species (the brain part equivalent to what you call the Willis Polygon). This sub-organ is responsible for what your highly intelligent brother Miguel Unamuno termed "sensitive intelligence" (Translator's Note: The Spanish term used is "inteligencia sentiente". In reality, Zubiri seems to be the creator of this neologism, not Unamuno.) and which your neurologist brothers are about to discover on your planet. In fact, some North American educators and psychologists have already started to develop tests (more on empirical than scientific bases) that correlate intelligence and feelings. You will verify this through simple observation of the different animal species that share existence with you, such as: The greater the intelligence, the greater the sensitivity. But furthermore (and this is partially unknown on OYAGAA), sensitivity feeds back on intelligence, not only to provide greater information but also BETTER information, thus placing brains on a quantic plane perceptible by BUAWA BIIAEI, which accelerates a mutation of the species through a few specific individuals, genuine "biological pioneers."
Mr. Rafaél: It is with contained emotion that we studied your book THE MAN, THE COSMOS AND GOD, which we found excellent: it is commendable and touching to observe an OEMMII from OYAGAA struggling with dignity and perseverance amid the raging waters of dominant ignorance. Our hand on your chest, sir. However (and we implore you not to take what follows as criticism), we urgently invite you to review the following documents: THE COMMUNIST MANIFESTO (Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels) and the calculations of Gauss and the implications of what is called the Gauss plane to graphically represent what you call "complex numbers."
We were highly certain of your brother J.M. AZNAR's possibility of victory in the democratic elections in Spain. Consequently, my brothers warned you of the risks associated with certain investments before the first half of this year. In response to your question, expert investors can tell you about the number of business ventures that have failed or declined in the past two years. We firmly believe that a good time for investments is approaching, especially if one knows how to choose the appropriate fields and moments that have been overlooked by experts in their advice.
Mr. Farriols: There is a risk of a resurgence of equine fever in your country. Take precautions. (NdW: Members of the Farriols family (his daughter and niece) are engaged in breeding and selling Spanish purebred horses.)
Mr. Farriols: We would like to know if you would help us restructure the AYUYISAA (Network) in your country. For this, it would be a great help to us (we will reimburse expenses) if you personally inquire of ALL those who have had a reasonably high contact with UMMO civilization regarding their potential interest in re-participating in the study of our civilization. You can use the phone line between July 5 and August 28, 1996, for this purpose. There will be no risk of unauthorized eavesdropping. You may ask for assistance from your brother PONS.
Mr. Rafaél, I place my hand on your chest. Please convey our respect to your YIEE and your brother followers.
I have dictated: OOLEEOO 2 Sons of EEWAANII 1
Lettre Ummite#823